Bereavement

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Losing someone close to you, whether it’s a friend or family member, is really hard to cope with. It’s especially shocking when you’re young and if this is your first close experience of death. We all can react very differently, especially in what we look for from others.

Some of us need to have people close because they feel it’s the best help you can get. Others don’t want everyone getting in their face and want to work it out for themselves. Or it may happen that your real feelings don’t come out until much later.

However you react, death changes you and it can push you to see your life in different ways. Not everyone sees it simply as depressing - it can make you realise that life is short you just need to make the most of it. Or you may find that the shock of it stops your life in its tracks. You can’t even be bothered to do your make-up, you lose interest in everything around you.

You may also be confused at how your feelings change over time. Everyone grieves differently and you shouldn’t feel guilty if you’re ready to move on, or angry if someone else in your family is still more visibly affected.

Remember that even though you'll never forget, in time you will be able to let go without feeling disloyal or guilty. Just give yourself time.

Share your feelings with family and close friends if and when you feel ready.  Remember they are probably feeling the same even though they may not show it.  It is true that a problem shared is a problem halved and in talking to others you not only will feel better, you will help them to feel better too.

If you are struggling to come to terms with the death of someone who died by suicide contact www.console.ie for help.

For help with bereavement, barnados have some advice at www.barnardos.ie/teenhelp/death.html

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